Sometimes we have to be pushed to enjoy the beauty of the world. these are pictures are my child in Hawaii who has found the love of scuba diving. I think there is a message in this though. I will just sit at home and think about what I would like to do, sometimes I need to be pushed off the boat to get on with life. One example is that it took a divorce to make me get my BA and credential. It took the fact that everyone but me in my family had a MA for me to finish my degree. I don't usually need a puch to finish something in my craft room but simple things like paying bills or making calls I need to be shoved not pushed. Why is that? I am organized and everything is done on time or early at work but not at home. go figure!!!!

okay we didn't make it to the lake, they were all hungry 30 miles out of town so we went to Knights Ferry instead. A nice little state park along the Stanislaus River. We ate then walked the covered bridge, etc etc. went for ice cream in the " town" of 100 people. Nothing like 4 lesbians and 1 dark puerto rican in the creamery to give the people some gossip. The girls are from the bay area and not used to being around all white people (red necked), another lesson in accectance and tolerance.

The water was so clear you could see the bottom of it. People were sucba diving in it! nice day!

HElp! I am sitting here waiting for friends to show up to go on a picnnic, it is now 11:18 and we were suppose to leave at 10:30. I don't do well with waiting, esp. since we are going to the mountains 2 hours away. I eat lunch at 12:00, but the real issue is letting go and not be tied to a time line. I know they are always late, but usually only 30 min. (Originally we were meeting at 10!) I just need to breathe and relax and let go of expectations!!!!!!!!! tHIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME. I get up at 7 and don't stop moving until 10 or 11pm. I hate being ADHD sometimes. There are times when it is a blessing! OK take a deep breath and relax.

everytime I sign on it says scheduled outage at 4pm, (I always seem to log on about 4ish lately)
What would it be like to schedule our own outage time? There are times I would love to tell people I am having a scheduled outage on Wed. from 1-9pm please do not disturb me, as I will not be functioning. I know I kinda do it already but I don't schedule it. The work schedules that time with when vacation time is ... but it doesn't always fit my time. I think the worst part is that I don't always know what to do with my time, at least for the first part of the vacation. I am reading The Mermaids Chair and just finished another one about a woman making changes in her life...major changes...I think this scares me too. Am I ready to make some changes? Do I want to change? If I could change what would I change? Sometimes I wonder if I know who I am and what do I want out of life.
Last week I was asked if I could spend hours in my "room" just doing? the answer is yes I enjoy just putzing, creating, or just touching and messing with the objects in my room. I have now moved the computer in here, if I had a bed in here it would be trouble!!!

unfortuantely due to technical difficulties there are no pictures!
How I spent my weekend!
the picture of the room is my favorite room in the whole house, my room. It has all my stuff in it. but more importantly it allows me to be creative, to have what I need all in one place and a work space on top of it. Until Friday night it had carpet in it, the pulling up of the carpet isn't hard it was the getting things out and then replacing it all. OOOOH but my butt muscles hurt. Saturday I scrubbed floors, patio etc. then in the afternoon for a deverision I helped my sister turn herself into a coconut tree. From the book Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, one of my favorite alphabet boooks. Sunday was more work, hanging shelves. scraping paint and painting eves, painting trim and whatever else my wife could find for me to do. I am on vacation now for 2 weeks, I will need to rest to get ready for my wife's next inspiration of what to do for the house.

this is a picture in my friends back garden, a mural on the fence. Very nice and serene, and it doesn't need watering, pruning or weeding. If I had a flat surface I would do this to my fence.
I have been learning more about myself this week. I love teaching kindergarten. I have been working with 6th graders for 2 weeks. They wear me out, they giggle..non-stop and that is the boys! I spend a lot of time with math. Today was fractions. Guess how I spent lunch? Reviewing basic fraction information. I do best with little ones, I would rather have tears than attitude. I am earning my pay this week.
Today on my way home from school I realized what the day was...The 14th. OOOppps we forgot our anniversary, the 14th one. I called my love and said Happy A, she forgot too. Our life has been very busy this week and dealing with all the emotions kinda put things in perspective. We are just grateful for what we have on a day to day basis!

I spent the weekend in San Diego, the scenery was varying to say the least. Had Breakfast at the beach, going home saw a fire on the grapevine, coming down the hill saw burned fields and then the long expanse of the valley made green by careful watering and care.
That is symbolic of life this weekend. We had to go to SD to go to d's funeral. There was the harshness of reality, and gaining a sense of mortality. His mother is my age and she was saying good bye to her son.
The fire reminded me of how sometimes we need to get rid of the overgrowth and dead items in our lives to make way for the new. The green growth shows what love and care can produce. I still haven't been able to cry yet. The last really good cry I had was 9 years ago. the time before that was when my mother died. I spent the first 3 years of my soberity crying, I think I don't have any tears left. i would love a good cry sometime. I should be carfeul waht I ask for I may get it!
Today I see changes in the kids at work. In the morning for 2 weeks, I work with 2nd & 3rd graders. We work on getting stronger in the basics, helping to shore up the foundation that is weak. the afternoon is spent with 6th graders. Attitude with an A but still sweet, today they got excited about doing long division. Tomorrow they want to do fractions! More foundation work!
I need to remember these lessons!!!!!!!!

well thursday's post didn't post well. I've had a few days to deal with this. this is Donovan's death. We knew it would happen eventually just didn't expect this soon. He was young, but he did not take good care of himself like he should. We found out that he had issues that he ignored, but those were his choices Monday night we all gather those who loved him and celebrate their love for him.

Today we say good bye Donovan. He has been ill but he is so young, 35. He died from complications of a stroke, kidney problems and HIV. we will miss him greatly. He is loved by many. Please send your positive thoughts and prayers to those who loved him and will miss him.

BOOOOING! that's what coils do, that is kind of what I feel like life is right now, just a bunch of coils I keep springing back for more.

well my first day with the big kids. It was fun, but it also reinforces to me that I want to stay with kindergarteners. we did have fun today
over the weekend my sisters and I went on a day outing. we couldn't figure out how to get the timer to work so we came up with an alternative, hence the mirror. i luughed we are all 3 well educated and still can't figure out the camera that probably a 6 year old could do
go figure~!

wow it is September, I can't believe how long it has been since I have posted. Life is full and 95% of the time good at times even great!
I just started vacation this week, of course I am teaching for the next 2 weeks remedial grades 2-6. It will be interesting. At least they know how to write their names. The last day of school was horrific, not really that bad I was just tired and grumpy! I didn't realize I was that tired until the day happened.
My family has been here on and off for parts of the summer. I had my girls here to visit. I loved Misty here for a week, just relaxing. I get to see her so rarely for just down time. Bec was here too but only for a brief visit. It amazes me that she calls when she is bored or depressed, but when times are good I don't hear from her. I am not sure how I feel about that. We watched a movie last night, "Surrender Dorothy" with diane Lane. It was good. The underlying theme was the mother, Diane, was not able to let go of her daughter in life or in her daughter's death. Do I smother my girls? I know that I call them often. I think I will try to back off and see what happens. sometimes I think I need to get a life, but I do enjoy spending time alone in my workroom. I enjoy the solitude and time to just be without any obligations or expectations. I know it makes J frustrated that I enjoy staying home and not going places. ah well life is here and I live it the way I enjoy if it means not being overly social than so be it. I like my life with a few choice people in it .