Last night I read Addicts blog about her childhood and some feelings she had. She quoated that she was not a good stay at home mom. I was not either. I am really coming to grips with that staying home with 3 dogs all day long. I really am content to stay in all day and do my thing whatever that is, but the dogs just being dogs behavior drives me crazy some days. I know now that I am a better Mother to adult children than ages 3-? The funny thing is I am a great kindergarten teacher, but there we have structure, rules and lots of things to do AND they go home at the end of the day. Not only that but by being the "teacher" I have more credibilty than parents do sometimes.
I used to feel guilt about it but not anymore. Their Dad was a stay at home dad (this was in the 80's when it didn't happen a lot.) He is great at nurturing, cooking doing that day to day stuff and he is experienceing it again as a Grandpa. I do better on the short term stuff. I did the education, crafts, music so it was a good blending.
I think the girls have won the lottery when it comes to parents, good Dad while they were growing up who got ???? when puberty hit, but this is where the good part happens they have 2 mothers who do best with them from puberty on. We get to be not only their mothers but their friends, he only had that place for 13-16 years we get them for the rest of their lives! He does too and I hope they are able to reconnect with him. One of them told me Daddy wrote them notes at Christmas that meant a lot to her. I didn't ask what but I know part of it was he was proud of them. What better gift can we give our children than to let them know we are proud of them and no matter what they do we will always love them.
I used to feel guilt about it but not anymore. Their Dad was a stay at home dad (this was in the 80's when it didn't happen a lot.) He is great at nurturing, cooking doing that day to day stuff and he is experienceing it again as a Grandpa. I do better on the short term stuff. I did the education, crafts, music so it was a good blending.
I think the girls have won the lottery when it comes to parents, good Dad while they were growing up who got ???? when puberty hit, but this is where the good part happens they have 2 mothers who do best with them from puberty on. We get to be not only their mothers but their friends, he only had that place for 13-16 years we get them for the rest of their lives! He does too and I hope they are able to reconnect with him. One of them told me Daddy wrote them notes at Christmas that meant a lot to her. I didn't ask what but I know part of it was he was proud of them. What better gift can we give our children than to let them know we are proud of them and no matter what they do we will always love them.
posted by lesbopatticakes @ 9:36 AM
1 Comments:
At January 25, 2006 1:32 PM,
lesbopatticakes said…
ya know knowing his family I am not surprised about expressing his feelings, his parents hid many things from him and he was taught don't talk. When you lose a parent at that young age, and in all reality he had lost him to illmess many years before he has turned out well. His mom had a hysteroctomy and didn't tell us until after the fact, talk about lack of communication!
The girls feel that he finally sees them as adults and I hope that helps all of them. I know they don't want much just I am proud of you. Sometimes I think we give it so freely that they are like Jason "I know that" but from dad it is special.
can't wait to see Ali's pic
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