It has been a busy week, had the son home for a few days, he went out every night and came in late every morning...you can't sneak into our house not with 3 dogs. So we were woke up every morning. Enjoyed his visit but also enjoyed his leaving, he creates tension in the house. The past is hard to leave behind when you have old feelings come back. His drinking and using brought back the feelings of when I lived with a substance abuser. It has been many years since I have lived with an active user. I hate those feelings of helplessness and things being out of control. I wasn't experiencing those feelings but the flashbacks are icky. I don't care if he choses to be a pot head and drink but not on my turf. I have worked hard to stay clean and I don't like to be around it. I guess this experience is to teach me to be grateful for where I am and how far I have come. God I hate lessons from life.